Feb 09 2009
the ideal man.
i don’t feel much like poetry today. so you’re getting a list.
beause my boyfriend and i broke up today, i’m posting a list of the traits my perfect man should have. if you have more than 50% of these, call me. if you have more than 75% of these traits, you better call me.
1. nice hair. just a clean cut. seriously, soft hair is the nicest thing ever.
2. good kisser.
3. musicians are nice. but sometimes, they get cocky, so this is iffy.
4. in no way affiliated with WOW.
5. will party with me, but not too much. seriously, some things are more important.
6. smoker, or okay with me smoking. don’t lecture me. i know it’s bad for me. i get it.
7. knows how to dress. that’s always nice.
8. a dork. i like dorks. stop trying to act like you’re the man and be stupid. it’s fun just to be a goof.
9. will dance in public with me. i like to dance. i like to dance randomly. if you can’t do this too, then that’s a problem.
10. drugs are bad. please don’t do them. that’s really nice.
11. reads. seriously, talk with me about books and i will be so happy.
12. likes indie music. i like it. i’ll show you good bands. you show me good bands. oh i’m so lame. jesus.
13. can deal with my crazies. i’m ridiculous. and you just have to deal with it.
14. has a car.
15. has a job.
16. has some kind of a future.
17. will buy me flowers. i really like getting flowers. flowers and wine. perfect.
18. glasses. i’m a SUCKER for glasses. ZOMG!
19. is not a douche. douches are bad. if you’re a douche, fuck off. seriously.
20. likes coffee. i love coffee. i love coffee shops. it’s pretty simple.
21. does random romantic things. i’m a sucker. trust me, this will make me so fucking happy.
22. is not controlling. i need some space sometimes. i’m sure you do too. k thanks.
23. can’t be allergic to perfumes. i work at bath and body works. we would not go well together.
24. doesn’t try to change me. i’ll return that favor for sure. as well as most of the above and below.
25. is a good influence on me. seriously.
26. likes girl movies. or at least pretends to rather well.
27. sensitive to my feelings.
28. nice. just be nice. it’s not that hard.
29. honest. sometimes the truth sucks. but really, it’s better to be honest.
30. A HOT PIECE OF ASS. haha.
basically, if you’re a good person, you have a chance.
