amesplaza

so, i’ve started a new project called “365ing with ames plaza” to document a year in photographs. my goal is to post one a day, or every other day, at LEAST, in order to keep myself from having to post 395903485 times all at once. i’m hoping to be a lot more diligent with this one than i am with this personal blog of mine, which (no worries) i will continue to update on a semi-regular basis, if that’s what this is called. so check it out. i’ll be posting my first picture either tonight or tomorrow.

http://amesplaza.blogspot.com

bookmark it.
promote it.
link it.
be super nice and leave it some lovin.

i’ll be updating as often as i can.

 <3

ames plaza

pointless fights
end in nights of one beer and a few hours of rerun tv
talking and smiling
and making up for the stupidity we had before.
i’m glad we got to spend time together.
i can taste the tension
but it’s faded to the back of my tongue
and the nausea i had has finally gone.
tonight we’re getting dressed up
and celebrating our survival
through all the drama on the stages of our lives,
but the audiences are falling asleep to our conversations
a lulling rhythm to the words we speak,
a lullaby in the topics we’ve picked.
curtain call at the end
and bedtime afterwards
and the warmth of your skin on mine
is sweet like the taste of sweet cakes
and i close my overly make-uped eyes
and smile myself to sleep.

<3

ames plaza

[cheesy love poems now??]

no dear,
there haven’t been many events taking place here.
food poisoning.
taking down bathroom doors for games.
staying up late.
foreign films.
classclassclass.
there is a distinct repetiveness about how
we live our lives here.
dinner at five.
lunch at noon.
bed at midnight.
wake up.
get showered.
make coffee.
read.
write.
repeat.
it’s becoming this endless cycle
of average events
leading up to nothing but a possible college degree
and a future of 9-5
salary paying
somewhat career path.
i suppose i should marvel at the little things more often.
i want to blow bubbles in my milk again.
i want to get drunk off one beer like in high school,
when everyone thought one beer was enough.
i want to savor the sweet scent of warm winter air
on days like this when i don’t need my coat.
i want to become a better poet
so you don’t have to read this mess.
i want to drink more juice boxes,
sit on more swings,
and smile way more than i should.
i want to paint my nails pink
and frolic about
because sometimes
i just take like way too seriously
and i need to chill out.
i need to get out of this cycle of events
and break the mold-
roll around in some grass
and get my hands dirty making mud pies.
i’m an adult
but this is the only life i have
and i’m not wasting it.

<3

ames plaza

a night out
leads to a night in
ALONE.
boyfriend has vacated
and i am alone.
typing is hard.
my fingers are frozen
and all is lost
in a string of drinks in four hours.
the party was fun
but tomorrow is hell.
and i know i’ve lost a few brain cells
along this miserable way.
phone calls to people
i’m afraid to say three words to
screams crazy
when the people beside me are puking
in twenty three degree weather.
my muscles are tensing.
my breathing is low
and i will drink five bottles of water tomorrow.
ramen for now
toilet for later?
i’m not sure which direction i’m going in
but i know that at least i’m safe
in my dorm.
away from the rapist.
away from the cold.
away from the sweet tasting drinks i swallowed so eloquently.
i am far.
far from no one.
but far from the ones i love.
i want to make peace
with everyone,
including myself.
but i am not the one to trifle with.
i am too far from the home i built
in my heart.

<3

ames plaza

there are bridges covered in snow,
blocking passage to the churchyard.
funeral mourners gaze distantly
as the coffin slips inside a hole in the cold hard ground.
the murcury is falling drastically
as the sun is setting behind the bare tree branches.
the wedding ceremony was postponed
due to a disagreement
between the well dressed bride
and the well dressed groom at the alter.
a husband is driving a wife to the hospital
she’s breathing heavily with labor pains
and there is a girl no older than me
holding a pregnancy test in her bedroom
praying it’s a false alarm.
music blares from car windows.
children run through the woods out back
hiding in the branches masking the sun.
the icy bridges let cars slide off into the river
and there lies the funeral procession
on the icy river bottom.

<3

ames plaza

while i’m away, i miss longwood university.
but upon return,
i have realized i didn’t miss everything about this place.
here is a general summary of how i feel
about lu. 

the things i missed:
my roommate. she is amazing beyond belief.
cuddling. (with the boy or with my suitemate… either is okay.)
the availability of alcohol.
reading captain underpants and getting graded for it.
being ridiculous 24/7.
going to wallmart to buy candy canes and other random things.
two words: celine dion.
murphy’s kids coming to the mad hatter. <3
hittin’ stuff.

the things i didn’t miss:
helicopters training and rattiling our windows constantly.
how nasty our jail cell bathroom is.
how tiny our dorm is. it’s more like a closet.
the po.
near death experiences involving golf carts.
running into a certain rapist asshole at the designated smoking locations.
getting the shits from d hall. ew.
dealing with the bookstore losing my books.

 <3

ames plaza

the night was brighter than it should have been-
bright moonlight covered in a haze of blankety clouds.
down the backroads
we speeded towards unknown destinations-
parking lots and back alleys…
or so we thought…
we were serenaded by soft words
and the catchy melodies
and i sang along as usual.
there weren’t really any words,
just a carefully placed hand
and an occasional smile
as the red glowing stop lights
made the foot connect with the brake to cease motion.
the night was very still
as we came into town.
there weren’t any words as we neared town,
passing lonely fast food establishments
filled with the stoned and the sobering up,
people just wanting to get home.
that wasn’t us…
we wanted to live forever in the moment-
in the spotlight of the dimmed moon…
under street lights…
under starlight…
anywhere but seperated by the seemingly forever distance.
and i sang and i hummed
and i wished…
wished for the answers to my aching questions.
but there were no answers
so we sat in silence
and kissed under moonlight and streetlight and starlight
in perfection.

<3

ames plaza

[hopeless romantic?]

somedays,
i’m not feeling up to my usual par.
these days blend together,
held together by strings of nothingness.
work, errands, chauffering my sister to ice skating practices.
it seems to be a dull movement in my life-
make ames plaza as normal as possible.
baby sitting. pumping gas.
however, good things come to those who wait…
so i’m just waiting…
waiting to return to school.
waiting for my circus.
waiting for the comfort of sleeping in someone else’s arms.
the constant countdown of the days
until i return
from normaltown.
maybe then i’ll have something more interesting to write about
in this stupid little blog.

<3

ames plaza

bored.

she puts her ballet slippers in the freezer
beside the water bottles
and the leftovers.
there is static on the tv
and the drive home took forever going 45.
the roads were filled with rain
in small puddles
reflecting red and green and white.
the lights were blinding.
she stared at the lines…
the music was loud but distant,
she recalled,
staring into the billows of silk
mesh of ballet skirts on the floor.
there it was-
her childhood.
so she hid it away in the freezer
to keep it fresh forever.
in hopes to melt the ice crystals off
in 80 years to start again.

<3

ames plaza

i’m costuming a single night-
it’s going to be a big show!
proper lighting required.
tickets are sold out.
there was only one admitted to this one girl circus.
enter and be damned
into this ring of fire,
where the girls wear pretty sequined outfits
and the boys wear tacky bowties
but it seems fitting in the moment.
are those real diamonds?
most definitely not, my dear.
are those stunts performed without nets?
why, of course they are!
there’s no such thing as safety in this crazed world
inside a circus tent.
what’s this circus you speak of, my love?
well, i believe you’ve answered your own question.
there is too much passion in the circus
but we’re enjoying it while it lasts.
perhaps the show will tour forever.

<3

ames plaza