amesplaza

the days pass slowly.
there are encounters between the victim
and the victimizer.
we are unable to avoid each other, it seems.
i try my best to run away
and seek refuge in the arms
of someone who i know doesn’t love me.
he probably never will…
still i seek the attention he gives me
and i smile affectionately.
and pray that one day things will be fine.
i will be all right.
i can’t wait to see what each day brings
becasue each day is a step further away from then.

<3

ames plaza

i keep looking for love in all the wrong places.
i keep searching for everything i’ve ever wanted
and i end up in this shithole of a life.
i will find that love one day
when it’s least expected, dollface.
i just need to keep growing
keep rebuilding myself from this rubble,
these ruins.
i’ll change my pace one day.
one day i’ll be better
and the bandaids holding me together will peel away
and reveal scars in the shapes of butterflies and stars.
i will get better.
i will be loved.
i will melt again.
i will one day be happy again.
and i will bring myself up from this drama
and surface breathing again.
get me out of this rape victim mindset
and back into my pale, scarred skin.

<3

ames plaza

capitals are for states and countries.

i’ve stopped counting the days since it occured.
i’ve learned to live through it.
i am coping with the aftermath
trying to completely regain all of my internal composure.
i am somewhat lost in this whirlwind
but i’m still gasping for air.
i can only go up from where i am standing
and press the fuck on.
move onto a new life
in a new terrain
of a newfound sense of somewhat safety.
i am going to live through this.
and i am going to grow.
i will gladly leave this town
to find myself
and i will return
to find what i left behind.

<3

ames plaza

i am back bitches.
and i still don’t capitalize.